Farewell to Armpits.

"Ah, the joys of Labor Day. Sartorially speaking, the national holiday isn't just the time to put your whites back into mothballs—it's also the unofficial deadline for men to put away their sleeveless shirts until Memorial Day. I make no apologies for my disdain for the garment during warm weather months, and I look forward to a fall of changing foliage and unexposed shoulders. I'm a lover of free will and revealed biceps, but my red-blooded armpit conservatism comes from a different place: my broader love of hygiene. I'm not anti-pit altogether, but there's a time and a place for an arm's nether regions. In the right context, having free-flowing underarms can be entirely functional (if, say, you're jogging or painting a house) or even subtly sexy (in the privacy of your own home). But after trauma with errant armpits at pizza parlors, nightclubs and a college graduation, I don't want any underarm within a 2-foot radius. But even with the impending season change and my draconian outlook, I don't expect my September to be armpit-free. Boys will be boys, after all." -Philadelphia Weekly

I have to start putting my own writing on here ha ha :)